Another Sleepless Night

Tossing and turning, no position seems comfortable. My neck and head begin to hurt and my mind begins to wander.

The wind is light tonight, which is wonderful compared to the usual excruciating cold that blows through our windows and sliding doors here at the beach apartment.

I can hear the waves from our bedroom- and oh how I wish they could wash over my brain and ease all it's neurological firings.

Useless thoughts…then poignant thoughts. “Oh, you better remember that Jana.”

So I make my way upstairs to the cold leather couch, and I sit wrapped in my blanket and begin to type on my laptop. Recently, I can’t get back to sleep unless I write out (or type out) my thoughts.

The sky and sea is a dark mass, blending together as I gaze out the window. I watch the boat lights move steadily against the black backdrop.

I have no idea what I’ll be feeling when we are sleeping in a tent or hut in Maui.

Will there be bugs everywhere? Will wild noises keep me up rather than my erratic thoughts within my brain?
Heck, at this point in life, I gladly choose freaky nature sounds over these restless nights! 

My nose is stuffed up and my body aches with cold. My eyes feel itchy and swollen.

Lately in Seattle - I feel like a heavy gray blanket is lying over the top of me. The ‘ceiling’ of my world here is making me claustrophobic and my personal growth feels stifled.

Like this article here (I really enjoyed/ a fun read relating to real estate) -  research ties high ceilings with a psychological sense of freedom.  There’s more room to be you/ less squashed. You feel 'liberated and unlimited' and less 'bound or restricted.' 

I don’t have tall ceilings here in Seattle. Literally and figuratively 😆  At least not anymore. 

Like a plant with no sun. No photosynthesis. No way to harness energy from sunlight to chemical energy. 
No way of expelling my branches and bearing good fruit. The soil feels acidic below me. My roots are beginning to suffer. 

I need to be replanted. 

→→→

Onward & upward. 

As Bob Marley sings, "If you're not living good, travel wide. You gotta travel wide."

Make the move and move.